As it turns out, I correctly predicted the 6-0 scoreline for last Saturday’s ritual sacrifice of the poor Tangerines. However, it should in fairness be mentioned that this doesn’t really tell us anything about where Arsenal is this season. To be blunt about it, Blackpool has no business being in this division whatsoever – compound that with a horrifically-bad goalkeeper and a deserved red card in the first half, and 6-0 is probably the least that we could expect from this.
Don’t get me wrong – it was wonderful to see Arsenal FINALLY finish off a game like this and leave their boots firmly on the throats of their opposition. All I’m saying is that this easily could have been 1-0 or 2-0 on another day.
You’ll read in the various other match reports that Blackpool keeper Matthew Gilks had a solid game, with several fine stops preventing the scoreline from becoming worse than it was. Well, yes and no. There were a few decent saves in there, but most of them were of the variety that you’d expect any Premier League goalkeeper to make, and there were a few instances where Arsenal’s finishing let them down. Look, this is a guy who spent most of his career so far at Rochdale in the Third Division. Norwich bought him and never played him, and he moved on to Blackpool…where he sat on the bench until an injury to Paul Rabchuka thrust him into the breach. In other words, he has 176 games of fourth-tier football and 31 at the second tier before this season. If Ian Holloway is smart, he’ll get someone in on loan ASAP to cover the position.
Anyway, Theo Walcott opened the scoring at 12′ with a beautiful cut inside and a rolled finish into the bottom corner. Gilks probably wasn’t getting there, but kicking a leg out instead of diving doesn’t speak well of his instincts or reflexes.
Things went from bad to worse for the newly-promoted side when Ian Evatt received his marching orders for a professional foul on Marouane Chamakh. Whatever you think of the placement of the foul – inside the area or out – it was a gorgeous feed from Tomas Rosicky over the top, and Chamakh’s directness and strength forced Evatt into the mistake. It was a red card either way, but the ref gave the penalty as well…which Arshavin hammered into the bottom corner past Gilks (who to his credit did dive the right way) at 32′ to double the lead.
It isn’t like Blackpool offered much before the sending-off – only Gary Taylor-Fletcher’s shocking miss off of a wide-open header (though in fairness, Manuel Almunia might have had it covered unless it was a perfect hit into the upper 90) threatened the Arsenal goal – but the red card ended their active participation in the match. Poor old Marlon Harewood plowed a lone furrow up top with no service, as Arsenal ran riot in the midfield. Jack Wilshere and the aforementioned Rosicky particularly impressed with their vision and running, while Andrei Arshavin did offer some penetration and attacking runs.
Walcott’s second tally of the day at 39′ was arguably the best of the lot. For whatever that raging douchenozzle Alan Hansen might have to say about his football intelligence, his turn-and-shot after a nice pass from Wilshere showed the admittedly-nascent instincts of a finisher. Just as we shouldn’t get carried away on the basis of his hat trick in this game, I would hope that Gooners give him a break if he goes a game or two without scoring given the fact that he is still just 21.
Anyway, that took us to the half, and you would figure that the visitors would take the opportunity to regroup and perhaps bunker a little to keep the score down. If anything, they may have been worse defensively after the restart…you can forgive them a lapse or two in the immediate minutes after going down to 10 men, but with 15 minutes to think about it? Come on, now. At 49′, Bacary Sagna skipped down the wing and easily evaded the clumsy slide-tackle of his marker…which took him completely out of the play, mind. Given time and room to roam, he crossed magnificently for the on-rushing Abou Diaby, who volleyed past Gilks to make it 4-0. Seeing the replay on the Review Show last night though, it looked like Gilks perhaps should have done better on it.
Arsenal continued to attack in waves, with Blackpool left back Stephen Crainey probably wishing he was back in the hoops of Celtic where he began his career. Walcott completed his well-deserved hat trick on 58′ when he collected from Diaby, stormed past Crainey again, and curled a beauty into the far corner (not to pile on, but Gilks didn’t so much as dive for that one). About ten minutes later, he came off for a standing ovation that must have been a godsend to him after taking so much stick in the last year or so.
Speaking of the substitutions, how much did it have to suck to be on Blackpool at that moment in time? Down 5-0 with 10 men and half an hour to go, and your 3-goal tormentor (and the solid-on-this-day Diaby) finally departs…only for Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie to come on? Is there ever a point where Blackpool will know their true standing in the order of things more than that very moment? It should be said that both looked a bit off the pace and the Gunners’ offensive thrusts were not quite as dangerous afterwards, but it was good to get them some minutes in a no-pressure situation against a team that, for whatever else you can say about them, were sportsmen and not out there trying to break legs.
Chamakh looked to have opened his account somewhere in the 70th or 75th minute when a cross from van Persie saw him all alone about 4-5 yards out, but he ended up blazing over the crossbar when it would have been easier to score. The frustration was obviously mounting, so it was nice that another gift from Gilks came at the 83′ mark. Off a nice in-swinging corner from van Persie (yes, we actually did score off of a set piece…it’s true!), Chamakh got a solid, thumping downward header on it. It was a good hit, but any Premier League keeper probably should have kept it out. Instead, Gilks displayed the reaction time of a methed-out sloth and saw the ball slip through his arms, under his body and in. It’s nice for our boy to get the goal, but he surely won’t get an easier one this season.
Actually, that’s about all you can say for the whole match, in the end. It was a nice, easy run-out in the sun, against an opponent who rarely pressed, refused to bunker (and probably couldn’t get that right if they did) and couldn’t depend on their keeper to keep it close. Arsenal will not have an easier game all season, and the contrast between Blackpool at home and Blackburn away could not be starker. If the lads go oop norf and come back with a result, that will be something. In the meantime, you can only play who is in front of you, so job done and see you Visigoths come the weekend.
Up the Arse!
